by The Stir Bloggers from The Stir:
I've debated posting this letter a million times. Mostly because I know I have readers who will not get this. Some readers won't because they love me and my family and Lily so much...they just don't ever want us to hurt. So to prevent that hurt -- or stop it -- they will say things like, "please just accept Lily for who she is. Just give her time, and trust that she is who God made her to be."
Some readers won't get this letter, because... they simply can't relate. As understanding as they might be, they will never ever know how it feels be the
parent of a child with special needs. And believe me when I say, I don't blame them for not being able to relate. I'm in a club that I didn't choose to be in myself, although I wouldn't bargain my way out of it if I could.
I've learned too much, loved too much, grown in ways I didn't know I needed to, discovered little rooms...vast rooms...in my heart that I never knew existed since having Lily. I cannot imagine, and I don't
want to ever imagine, life without Lily; this letter has absolutely nothing to do with a lack of love for her or a desire for her to be someone else. She's
my Lily, and I truly believe that quote at the top of my blog...the one that says there was no mistake here. I believe it with all my heart.
But there are some days when I dream....